Channel surfing I came across a reality television show where a contestant had caught a turtle in a river and decided to eat it. The contestants smashed open the shell, shredded the turtle and boiled it in a pot. Watching the chubby contestants on the show talk about how delicious the turtle was all I could think about was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What if the constants were eating a pre-ooze Michelangelo? What if the constants had gorged themselves on all of the pre-teen un-mutated ninja-less turtles? Would we live in a world devoid of Ninja Rap? I for one do not want to live in that world.